Thanks for reading and now that my Internet is back up and working I will hopefully be here more often.
Lots of Love to all....
Total Mass Confusion~
9 years ago
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
This Only Parent Thing....and A Rat
So I am OK and most of the time doing OK, as time goes by I seem to be missing Eric more and more....I just want to talk to him and let him know what is happening, how my day has gone and all the crazy stuff that goes on. I really don't like taking care of the things Eric always did. I guess I will get used to some things like paying bills, going to the bank, doing the laundry.....other things I am not sure I will get used to like a RAT in the garage, picking up soggy dog..... or being an only parents. I really did not think about being an only parent, I thought a lot about other stuff but not about being the only one to be with Hunter and interact with him by myself. It is amazing how often I would tag team with Eric. It seemed just when I had enough, Eric would jump in an take over. It was seamless and worked out so well. Now here I am trying to take care off all this stuff, paperwork, phone calls, A RAT, cleaning Eric's office and then here comes my loving, energetic bundle of joy. Who by the way is going though his own emotions and adjustments. Sometimes I just want to scream....not at Hunter but at the situation. Eric knew right when I was at the point when I needed my own space and time to reflect on stuff. He would jump in and take over, now the questions is how do I do this only parent thing, making sure that Hunter's needs are being meet as well as my own? I don't really expect an answer from anyone...I am mostly just venting. Since like I noted in the beginning of this blog I can't talk to Eric and let him know how my day went.
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7 comments:
Hi Hallie, First and foremost you need to let yourself know that you are so wonderful and that you are doing so well! You are managing well and taking "charge of the situation"! I like everyone know that you can do this, you are a smart and successful person.
I don't think anyone would disagree in that this will be tough! It will be challenging and it will be emotional. Eric is there listening to you and watching over you which is not nearly the same as having him in person with you. I bet that getting used to his spirit rather than his personal presence is tough to get used to.
I can only imagine how much you miss him....I hear it in your voice as you continue to share with us through, "our unknown journey". Share as much as you want. We are all here to read, listen and lend support where we can.
Take care of yourself....determine what that means and ask for help or a listening ear whenever you need it. I may not live local to you but Long Beach is not another country! Call, email anytime day or night!
You are very special and wonderful!
Love,
Chrissy
Vent away girl! We love you and are listening!
Some days Hunter will want to scream too. You can scream together.
The tag-team parenting is what I miss THE MOST! Since we are on that subject, I'd like to give you a piece of advice (because I learned the hard way). Go to the drug store and buy every type of medicine that you or Hunter MIGHT ever need in the the middle of the night. I had a sick little boy at 3am and couldn't make a medicine run, since it's just me. I went the next day (in tears) and stocked up on everything!
You are doing an awesome job! Sometimes part of the guilt is realizing that life does, in fact, go on. The hole left in your heart, doesn't go away, but you learn to manage a little wounded.
Love to you and Hunter!
Jackie
Hallie:
I think you're doing amazing considering how "new" this "journey" is for you. I love that you are keeping up with the blog and feel free to scream and vent all you want. You should be so proud of yourself for all you have accomplished...I think my idea of dealing with the rat would be to run for the hills! My motto is "no rodents or reptiles"!
Hang in there...take care,
Liz Miller
Hallie,
thank you for continuing this blog. Your words are so inspiring for all of us who read them (venting or not, providing insight into what many of us have never experienced). My heart aches for you as you continue on this unknown journey.
May God continue to give you the strength to journey on and share with all of us what's happening, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Tony Braun
My boys were older than Hunter, but I can sympathize with how you are feeling. I remember having to face my first flat tire, even worse--not knowing how to pump gas (this was some time ago). And I got MAD, it just didn't seem fair. And I was angry at God for putting my in this situation, and angry at Monte for leaving, and angry at myself for so many things--things I still have a hard time facing today. But, each day, month, year, brought new understanding, new feelings (which was great because I recall not feeling my fingertips, and walking around with the drapes closed ALL the time), new insights, and then building a new life. But, unfortunaely, that took years. And they did pass ever so slowly. But, God is there with you, my faith tripled, and then kept growing, because I felt Him with me in a way that I never experienced before. And now all of these years later, I don't have all of those feeling anymore, nor the feeling of experiencing God in the same way as I did then. Day by day, that's just the way it will be for awhile. And just know that you have a HUGE community out here cheering you on, ready to do whatever we can.
Love to you both,
LCH
So I am a little behind on this post but I wanted to offer our help... not with advice on the whole single parent thing but on the RAT thing! :-) Chris would be happy to come over and help try to get rid of him, if you are still having trouble. We have had a mouse/rat issue for awhile since we live near open fields and horse properties so I know how you feel about finding evidence of a critter in the garage. Let us know if you still need help with the critter! Take care!
Michelle Adams
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