As I chat with others about the situation and we talk of Eric and his continued hope, faith and thanks for all the God has given him it was bought to my attention that throughout his blog he has always talked of hope, faith and thanks. Even during this most difficult time he continues to hope for a miracle, has a faith that whatever is to happen is His will and is thankful for everything and everyone. It makes me proud to be his wife and know that he is the man that he is! Anyhow I just wanted everyone to know that even though he has difficulty talking nothing has changed in his spirit, beliefs and hopes.
Once you choose hope, anything's possible.
Christopher Reeve
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
News from the home front....
Well it is Sunday and we have had a nice weekend.....Eric and I even had some alone time thanks to my parents. Eric is doing well, is able to communicate with me and a little to others.. His right side is not working well but he is a trooper and doing the best he can. He continues to have a feisty spirit and strong will! So it seems as if things are status quo for now....just the way we like it!
Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Friday, November 6, 2009
THIS SUCKS!
From the mouth of Eric.......THIS JUST SUCKS!!!!!!! I really don't think much else needs to be said!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
News...Update...& Continued Prayers!
Well I know that it has been a few weeks since Eric has lasted posted anything and it has been a very difficult few weeks here at the Botkin house. As you have figured out Eric is not writing this but his soul mate and life long partner Hallie. It has been difficult for me to come into the computer room and sit down and get the info that needs to be given. Eric finally told me tonight that he really needed something put on since it has been such a long time. I want to give everyone all the info so I will try and be as descriptive as possible to help answer questions that everyone will certainly have after this posting. So here goes.....
- Oct 20th-Eric finds out that the tumor is back...not a good sign
- Oct 21st-I talk to the Dr. and decide it is time for me to stay home(not working) an be with Eric, spending time and maybe a trip or 2 with the family.
- Oct 22nd-Eric spoke with Neuro-surgeon and he said that surgery was not an option
- Oct 24th-Eric had a seizure, droopy face can's talk.....last about 1 hour
- Oct 25th Eric had 3 more seizures...same as Saturdays
- Oct 26th- Eric woke up and can't talk at all...everything comes out wrong does not get better.
- Oct 27th- increase medicine so swelling decreases..improved speech
- Oct 27-30th- no changes in health..except talking more...meet with Dr. on Oct 29th....had new chemo.
- Oct 31st-Eric woke up and the right side of his face was droopy.....can talk very well, or chew his food.
- Nov 1st-Less speech, sleeping all day..not himself at all!
- Nov 2nd- about the same...had to give a little tough love...
- Nov 3rd (Today)- Woke up took a shower! talking to me more....to his mom a bit more...has trouble talking but is part of the conversation and interested in what is happening.
So as you can see things have changed almost daily. The Dr. tells Eric that she is not giving up but that we are at the end of our choices and there is not much else we can do if this chemo does not work. She has asked him some hard hitting questions and it has been a very emotional week for everyone. I ended up with strep throat and was out for a few days and Hunter by far seems to be doing the best in all of this. I am not sure were this leaves us other than in His hands. Eric's spirit seems to better today and so is his speech, it could have been the chemo that made everything crazy or it could be something else. All I know is that we will continue to hope and pray for a miracle and know that whatever happens it is in God's hands. So I leave you with this......
"So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring it's own worries, today's trouble is enough for today."
Matthew 6:34
PS....I want to thank both our mothers for all there help over the last few days....I don't know I would have made it all happen without there support, love and help with the man (AKA Hunter).
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Now Way!!!!
Hey Everyone! Life is so funny. I know that some of you may now know it yet, but indeed, life is funny. I had just typed about the best day that I had for quite some time by just sharing with all my brothers an sisters, and now this. Over the last couple of days I had determined that the pain in my eye had moved from a little, to alot, to it never stops. Hoping that it would just go away, I waited a few days to find that my eye always hurt now with pain moving between a 3 to 7, never going away. I called my amazing Dr. and she said come in today and lets see what is going on in that head of yours. Well I have just arrived home with the news that the tumor thing in my head is bigger. Bigger to be a big challenge. I will have to wait to talk to the surgeon doctor to see if it is removable, but some are acting as if this may not be the case. Pretty overwhelming how I got to have a great moment last week offering my thanks to all my brothers and sisters and then thrown to start over in the amazing Eric Botkin issues. Pretty crazy. Well I am sure that I will have more leading us the the new solution, but I just wanted to share. Please don't get me wrong, I am extremely happy to still be here. While I am ready to keep working, I thought this little story was funny as nothing ever seems to go the way you have planned. Please continue to keep me in your prayers as it seems this battle is going to get a bit harder.
God Bless
God Bless
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
What an Awsome Day!!
Hey Everyone! First, I just wanted to apologize to everyone as I was mostly feeling really poor with my 2nd 6-week chemo plan. While I am not really sure how it is all working, I am still very happy for God to allow me to continue to be here. Hopefully it will go great again like last time, but we won't know until early November to be sure.
Today I wanted to tell everyone that occasionally you live your life greatly as you are blessed with another opportunity. One of those moments comes when you have the control and get to surprise everyone else. Whether it is a big deal or not, it is the moment of being the person that has been allowed to deliver a little something that will let everyone know you care. Today, it was me, the crazy brain cancer dude that got to deliver a little something and really enjoy the moment. I had taken on a great, and very long adventure with my old fire department, City of Riverside. I spent the day with Hallie and surprised my previous crews. We traveled to all the fire stations and dropped off a little something to say thanks for being a great group. I was very excited to be able to do this because the reality of it all is that some day in my life I would need to ask my brothers and sisters for more help. But today it was great to let them all know that I really have appreciated all their help. Thanks again, to all my amazing brothers and sisters of the City of Riverside. I do miss being their alot, but want you to all know that I really appreciate your help.
Lastly I needed to take another moment and say thanks to an amazing woman. My friend at the See's Candy here in Temecula she is AWESOME!! When I was there to look for a great item, she came over and really allowed me to pick out what I needed to be the best gift. There are many people in our work today that do alot of stuff, but very few move beyond the stuff and work with fantasticness (I know that fantasticness is wrong, but she was fantastic). So after a great long day of sharing with everyone, now I am ready for a long winter's nap, or something like that.
Take care everyone and God Bless.
Today I wanted to tell everyone that occasionally you live your life greatly as you are blessed with another opportunity. One of those moments comes when you have the control and get to surprise everyone else. Whether it is a big deal or not, it is the moment of being the person that has been allowed to deliver a little something that will let everyone know you care. Today, it was me, the crazy brain cancer dude that got to deliver a little something and really enjoy the moment. I had taken on a great, and very long adventure with my old fire department, City of Riverside. I spent the day with Hallie and surprised my previous crews. We traveled to all the fire stations and dropped off a little something to say thanks for being a great group. I was very excited to be able to do this because the reality of it all is that some day in my life I would need to ask my brothers and sisters for more help. But today it was great to let them all know that I really have appreciated all their help. Thanks again, to all my amazing brothers and sisters of the City of Riverside. I do miss being their alot, but want you to all know that I really appreciate your help.
Lastly I needed to take another moment and say thanks to an amazing woman. My friend at the See's Candy here in Temecula she is AWESOME!! When I was there to look for a great item, she came over and really allowed me to pick out what I needed to be the best gift. There are many people in our work today that do alot of stuff, but very few move beyond the stuff and work with fantasticness (I know that fantasticness is wrong, but she was fantastic). So after a great long day of sharing with everyone, now I am ready for a long winter's nap, or something like that.
Take care everyone and God Bless.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Sickness Is In, Then Out, and Then In?
www.helpericbotkin.com
Hey Everyone! Well what a crazy time here at the Botkin home. After just happening to come off the gentle family sickness, I got the fantastic crud that comes with my six week chemo pills. I had just gotten over a little cold that Hunter was sharing with the family. I started on the chemo pills stuff last Monday. I took the super pills, wasted two days trying to see how I was doing, and I was very good. Then it hit me and boy did I feel bad! 1st the sickness and then the chemo sickness. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Well now I an happy to tell everyone that I feel much better. I'm not officially feeling like a million bucks, but really starting to return to Eric. It is very funny or even bizarre how you take these pills and have challenges, then you take another set of pills and they help you and actually make you feel better. While I don't understand many of these things, all I can really tell you all is that I am very happy to still be here with you. I know that my issues are growing as I am starting to have more challenges with peoples names and many easy words are missing while I'm having a nice chat. Again I must share with you that I am glad that God has still allowed me to be here and share my time with everyone. Thank you.
Hey Everyone! Well what a crazy time here at the Botkin home. After just happening to come off the gentle family sickness, I got the fantastic crud that comes with my six week chemo pills. I had just gotten over a little cold that Hunter was sharing with the family. I started on the chemo pills stuff last Monday. I took the super pills, wasted two days trying to see how I was doing, and I was very good. Then it hit me and boy did I feel bad! 1st the sickness and then the chemo sickness. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Well now I an happy to tell everyone that I feel much better. I'm not officially feeling like a million bucks, but really starting to return to Eric. It is very funny or even bizarre how you take these pills and have challenges, then you take another set of pills and they help you and actually make you feel better. While I don't understand many of these things, all I can really tell you all is that I am very happy to still be here with you. I know that my issues are growing as I am starting to have more challenges with peoples names and many easy words are missing while I'm having a nice chat. Again I must share with you that I am glad that God has still allowed me to be here and share my time with everyone. Thank you.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Everyone is Sick?
www.helpericbotkin.com
Hey Everyone. Hope your weekend was going much better for you than for us. We had a problem with Hunter, a problem with me and lastly a problem with Hallie. And it is all from the same bad sickness thing. The totally funny part is that Hunter got a terrible cough for 2 days, no flu, then it was given to me. I enjoyed two days of terrible nose pain, you know, that horrible crud running out of your nose whether you want to blow it or not. And finally Hallie with a throat pain that comes along with swallowing all that nose crap down the sore throat. FUN!! Well we are all almost back into the swing of things which is great as I will start another 6 week chemo tonight. Getting ready for the second version of "I'm not really sure how to prepare for this" medication set-up. But we all must continue do that which will keep us going forward. And again, I am VERY excited to still be able to be here with my family, friends and everyone else. I wanted to end this with something great, but you know what, after all that overwhelming crap and all the time felt working with the family, I got nothing. I mean I really wanted to think of something great, but honestly I an just happy to think after all that nose crud. So all I can really say is God Bless.
Hey Everyone. Hope your weekend was going much better for you than for us. We had a problem with Hunter, a problem with me and lastly a problem with Hallie. And it is all from the same bad sickness thing. The totally funny part is that Hunter got a terrible cough for 2 days, no flu, then it was given to me. I enjoyed two days of terrible nose pain, you know, that horrible crud running out of your nose whether you want to blow it or not. And finally Hallie with a throat pain that comes along with swallowing all that nose crap down the sore throat. FUN!! Well we are all almost back into the swing of things which is great as I will start another 6 week chemo tonight. Getting ready for the second version of "I'm not really sure how to prepare for this" medication set-up. But we all must continue do that which will keep us going forward. And again, I am VERY excited to still be able to be here with my family, friends and everyone else. I wanted to end this with something great, but you know what, after all that overwhelming crap and all the time felt working with the family, I got nothing. I mean I really wanted to think of something great, but honestly I an just happy to think after all that nose crud. So all I can really say is God Bless.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
More Good Times....
www.helpericbotkin.com
Hey Everyone. First before I get to any of my stuff, I hope that everyone was able to take a few minutes and think again over the 9/11 incident. It is continually amazing that the United States was able to be given such an unbelievable event. To have lost so many people who were never actually involved with the daily protection of our country is still unbelievable for me. I specifically remember riding back from a nothing call that morning and was told to check the TV when we arrived back at Station 12. Incredible. Anyway I got returned for a NEW MRI with a good condition. The old MRI uses 1.5 something or other to do the testing, and now I have been moved up to the new MRI that uses 3.0 something or other. Incredible to lie in the new one after being in the old one for the last 24 times was pretty incredible. I had several "wow" moments as it was a super test. Anyway again my tumor looked to be exactly the same with no significant changes so I will be on track for another 6 week pill just as soon as my blood returns to normal. My platelets were able to return to normal, but the white blood cells are still very low. Hopefully they will be better soon so that I can get on with my chemo.
Hey Everyone. First before I get to any of my stuff, I hope that everyone was able to take a few minutes and think again over the 9/11 incident. It is continually amazing that the United States was able to be given such an unbelievable event. To have lost so many people who were never actually involved with the daily protection of our country is still unbelievable for me. I specifically remember riding back from a nothing call that morning and was told to check the TV when we arrived back at Station 12. Incredible. Anyway I got returned for a NEW MRI with a good condition. The old MRI uses 1.5 something or other to do the testing, and now I have been moved up to the new MRI that uses 3.0 something or other. Incredible to lie in the new one after being in the old one for the last 24 times was pretty incredible. I had several "wow" moments as it was a super test. Anyway again my tumor looked to be exactly the same with no significant changes so I will be on track for another 6 week pill just as soon as my blood returns to normal. My platelets were able to return to normal, but the white blood cells are still very low. Hopefully they will be better soon so that I can get on with my chemo.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Crazy week...Again?
www.helpericbotkin.com
Hey Everyone. Sheesh, what an amazing week for the Botkin family. A man goes to the hospital, a boy goes to the emergency room and a woman with shingles, but the most amazing part is that Hallie and I were totally healthy last week. Now even though we were feeling good, we were very busy trying to help all of the family members who were having "issues". Even though we were really placed into some funny and stressful areas, we are happy to say that Hallie's dad is recovered and doing well, Hallie's mom is working hard to drop some germs, and Hunter absolutely does NOT have chicken pox, even though we thought he did. So a wonderfully busy week was to be filled with an equally wonderful, slow, and relaxing Labor Day, or that was what I thought. Well as you with kids all know every two - three years you decide that the toy room for your child needs some changes. The problem begins when your child starts taking on so many NEW toys that you begin to stop finding all that previous room. Well that was today's plan. OH MY GOD. Hunter's room hadn't been cleaned for about 2 years and there is a closet in that room, which over the last 6 years has become the convenient "crap" room. It is always funny how the easy clean up plans are "changed" two or three times before finding the correct solution. I am sure that none of my friends know what it is like to want a project to be started and finish in the same day, but I am happy to say that it looks nice. Aaa, another beautiful day in the cleaning moments. Now I am very confused as I have watched many shows on DIY and they are very quick, work with incredible help, and finish is with a burst of joy. I wish I could say this was the same for me I guess you can't believe everything on T.V. Well again I am very happy that we are done and it looks great. It is always interesting to sit back and look at the way it was all done to find those moments that were awesome and those that should have been done differently. The wife and I worked great together and we were hoping that the boy would pitch in. As it turns out he is just another 10 year old boy....I got all pissy with him for not being helpful and the reality is that he is ten! I know that if I keep on him and try to make him responsible and have pride in what he does and owns, someday he will be the same little boy who knows that his father loves him even if he has high expectations of who he should be and what he should do.
Hey Everyone. Sheesh, what an amazing week for the Botkin family. A man goes to the hospital, a boy goes to the emergency room and a woman with shingles, but the most amazing part is that Hallie and I were totally healthy last week. Now even though we were feeling good, we were very busy trying to help all of the family members who were having "issues". Even though we were really placed into some funny and stressful areas, we are happy to say that Hallie's dad is recovered and doing well, Hallie's mom is working hard to drop some germs, and Hunter absolutely does NOT have chicken pox, even though we thought he did. So a wonderfully busy week was to be filled with an equally wonderful, slow, and relaxing Labor Day, or that was what I thought. Well as you with kids all know every two - three years you decide that the toy room for your child needs some changes. The problem begins when your child starts taking on so many NEW toys that you begin to stop finding all that previous room. Well that was today's plan. OH MY GOD. Hunter's room hadn't been cleaned for about 2 years and there is a closet in that room, which over the last 6 years has become the convenient "crap" room. It is always funny how the easy clean up plans are "changed" two or three times before finding the correct solution. I am sure that none of my friends know what it is like to want a project to be started and finish in the same day, but I am happy to say that it looks nice. Aaa, another beautiful day in the cleaning moments. Now I am very confused as I have watched many shows on DIY and they are very quick, work with incredible help, and finish is with a burst of joy. I wish I could say this was the same for me I guess you can't believe everything on T.V. Well again I am very happy that we are done and it looks great. It is always interesting to sit back and look at the way it was all done to find those moments that were awesome and those that should have been done differently. The wife and I worked great together and we were hoping that the boy would pitch in. As it turns out he is just another 10 year old boy....I got all pissy with him for not being helpful and the reality is that he is ten! I know that if I keep on him and try to make him responsible and have pride in what he does and owns, someday he will be the same little boy who knows that his father loves him even if he has high expectations of who he should be and what he should do.
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