Our 1st Year without you!

It is hard to believe that a year ago today we were saying goodbye to Eric forever. I often wondered how I would survive without him at my side, I mean I knew this day would come and I really was not sure how I was going to manage life without my soul mate. As I reflect on this last year I am thankful that not only did I survive but I grew and have become a new me. I have only Eric to thank for that even through he is not here I am who I am today because of him. All though his life and illness he had a unwavering zest for life, a positive attitude, a smile, a faith in God and a "it is what is is attitude". I was able to grow with him from a young age and learn to have some of these same traits. It is because of his attitude about life and death that I am surviving today and to that I am thankful.

This year has brought it's ups and downs which was to be expected. We had a lot of firsts and we did new things to create new traditions. There were times when I thought the pain in my heart would never stop aching and then there were times when I felt a relief of this pain and wondered how could this be? Many times though out the year I thought wow I can't believe this is my life, how could this happen to me, what should I do now? But with the words I know Eric would be saying I was able to get though each minute, hour, day and now weeks with a positive attitude and a strength I never knew I had. I know that this grieving process is a roller coaster of emotions and I will continue to have my ups and downs but I know now that I can survive, I can get through and I can do anything.

I know that losing my soulmate was something that I never imigined would happen but I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to know that kind of love, to share in something so special, something that many people never find in a lifetime. I am lucky to have friends and family who have been here each step of the way and will continue to walk this unknown journey with me supporting me and helping me get through each day, week, month and now years. I am thankful to have made new friends who are willing to walk with me even with the sadness that may pop up now and again. I am thankful that even though I have had this devastation in my life I have been able to put some of the pieces of my life back and will continue to grow though this loss.

To Eric, I will always love you and can never thank you enough for being you and helping me become me. You were truly a blessing in so many lives and made a difference each and everyday. You are missed more than words can say but because of your strength and faith we are making the most of each day and will continue to live by your example.

Love,

Hallie