Thursday, March 17, 2011

Sisterhood of the Widowhood

Obviously the title gives you an idea of what this blog is about, I have written about it briefly before but I feel it is time to revisit the topic. Once you become a widow or widower you become part of a group, a group of people with at least one thing in common. If you will a "club" that nobody wants to join but once you do it is forever. No matter what your "new" life has in store for you whether you remarry or not, date or not you will always be a widow. I wish I could say embrace this "new" life and get the most out of it but unfortunately it is just not that fun club or sisterhood you want to embrace. That being said I have over the course of this last year embraced the new friendships that I have made because of my widowhoodness. These friends are other women who have also lost there husbands to either cancer or some sudden death. This group of women and 1 new husband that I speak of have been their to support me and each other though the last year. The friendships and support is unbelievable considering we have only met once at a widow conference. The bond is truly valued, we are the "lucky ones if I may say "lucky". We have tried to get the most of our "new" lives, using our sense of humor, our faith and each other to get through. This last weekend I was fortunate enough to meet with another widow in Las Vegas. She is from Connecticut and she also lost her husband to cancer. It was a big step for both of us considering we had only met each other once and our friendship was mostly through facebook. We both thought what happens if we don't get along, 3 days will feel like an eternity. Well I am happy to report that not only did we get along we are very much alike, enjoy the same things and we spent many many hours sharing our story. Not only was this weekend away with a friend but a therapy session all while enjoying what Vegas has to offer. I can't say enough wonderful things about my new lifelong friend. I wish we did not have to be members of this club but since we are I am happy to be here with her.

As I mentioned we met at something called Camp Widow last year in San Diego. This is a wonderful support community and I would highly recommend to anyone who is a member of this "club" or knows someone in this "club" to attended Camp Widow. I have found most of my support through the Internet, it is amazing the the amount of support out there because of the Internet. I want to share of few of the sites I have found helpful and a few that my friends have used for support. Again I hope that this information will be passes along to others in my situation, without the connection I have made though these sites I would not be the widow I am today.

Soaring Spirts Lose Foundation: http://www.sslf.org/
Widow Village (Widville)http://widowedvillage.org/
The Widdahood.com: http://www.theWiddahood.com/

Love,
Hallie

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hallie,

You sound so healthy in your new walk. You are an inspiration to those who also had to join a "club" they didn't ask to be a part of. I am sharing your websites, and your story, with a colleague of mine who struggles daily after the sudden loss of her husband. She struggles each day to put one foot in front of the other and I believe that your words of wisdom can show her that she CAN make it through this. Thank you for always being so open and sharing your new life with those of us who were part of the "before". I always look forward to seeing how you and Hunter are doing.

Take care - lots of hugs to you,

Liz Miller

Anonymous said...

No news for a long, long time I hope all is well.

Kristen Frasu said...

Wondering how you both are doing. I was a classmate of Eric's at Prince of Peace Lutheran School. I check weekly for updates...but haven't heard anything in so long. Please let us know how you and Hunter are doing. We care.