Thursday, December 18, 2008

What A Drag!

Hey everyone. I hope everyone is doing well able to work very hard getting all the families and friends gifts. I know that sometimes this can be such a huge challenge to get all those special items found, taken home and hid somewhere and only to be opened in a cool short 6 seconds. Oh well, I hope it is all going awesome for you. Now it is my turn. I so really wanted to be in a place where I could sit here and tell you all how great the testing of this special drug called BIWB 2992, but there is a little challenge. I haven't got that yet. I keep waiting for the people to tell me about some type of greatness or hell even some type of goodness, and I haven't seen it yet. I'm sorry for just letting all of this off for everyone but it is as though somewhere there should be that place for me to feel great that I am on this drug and the fact is I am very unhappy. You see two of these things have become a huge challenge for me, the diarrhea as well as the rash on my face and head. Now honestly the diarrhea is not that big of deal. I mean it is not fun but it is pretty easy. You feel like you have to go potty so you do. Some days you go none other days you go 6 times. Now is this fun, again hell no, but is it something that will take me out of the study, not really. Then there is the evil rash on my face and head. This is truly something that has brought me some incredible challenges. It was funny that this stuff started all the way back on Saturday, but I didn't realize what was going to be coming. Saturday through Friday has reached a point which has given me unbelievable white zits all over the area between my nose and facial hair, with it now moving up into the area of my eye brows and is something that I have a hard time with. Not only is it not pretty to look at it hurts and itches really badly. I can't get my hair wet and I can barely chew any food.I even told the Doctor today that I might be done because I can't take any more of this. Well we talked for a lot and she has until Monday to try and make some of this rash go away. I told her that I would try until Monday but otherwise I was going to be out of this study. It is very funny how I think it has been so different between each of the two surgeries on my brain over the last bits of time. I know that almost anything done a particular way after the first surgery must now be a total different way after doing the third surgery. Kind of interesting that I just wanted to be the same guy as before and yet I am having so many different issues that I am not like that guy at all. It sometimes makes me wonder what God wants from me since now I have so many other little things that are needing to be taken care of.
I am sorry to unload a bit, I know everyone wants to hear all the good but the good is just not here right now. Hallie told me it would be OK to vent on the blog so I guess sometimes I will be inspirational and other times I might just be venting. Like I said things are just different after the 3rd surgery.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am glad you got some of that off your chest. I am so sorry, sometimes it feels better to just bi--h! I know with my Mom the bathroom situation was the hardest for her. She went from constipation to the other. I am sorry and sometimes it is ok to say that it just plain sucks!!! Get better and I hope you stop itching and pooping :-) We are thinking about you and hope you have a poop free day:-o Just stay strong, you are here for a lot of reasons. Have a great day! Cindy

Anonymous said...

Dear Eric,

You being real and honest is what makes you an inspiration to us all. We are here to listen to the good and bad. Venting helps us all and is necessary, especially when you are enduring such difficult things. We sure hope your conditions improve and know you will make the best decisions in your treatment. Take care and know we are praying for you everyday.

The Pina's

Tony Braun said...

Eric,
Thanks for being real. Just remind yourself its like the firehouse kitchen table except of course that most ot the complaining around there wasn't really life threatening. Remember that giving us the bad helps us to pray harder and that no matter where we are at in life, it can suck at times.

I think about you often Eric and haven't responded cause I forgot my password. I re did it and hopefully created one I can remember.

Thanks for keeping us all up to date on your progress.

tony braun

Anonymous said...

Vent away...it's called real life! Good and bad, we'll take it all!
So if you squeeze them like a zit, does it shoot all over the mirror!!!! if you remember! lololol
Ask Neil why he wears a mask when he is working on cysts and stuff! It will make you laugh.
Seriously, we love ya and keep putting one foot in front of the other.
It's good to hear the perspective on the "perfect" gift which in essence will be trash within the next five years! The time together is priceless...needed to hear that one!

Thanks
LeeAnn

Anonymous said...

Wishing your family a Very Merry Christmas and a darned good New Year! The Sommer family