Hawaiian Flower Ceremony

While in Hawaii Hunter and I had the opportunity to experience a beautiful ceremony to remember Eric and his life. Our friend lead us though the tradition of throwing the flower lei's into the ocean. It was one of the most beautiful things that I have experienced. We had the chance to visit this area last year and the connection I feel to Eric there is eeire. We did not stay at the resort long last year we were only there one night while visiting the Brewer ohana but the strong feeling I had while there this time is something I can not really put into words. I have a short video which I am having trouble loading but is on facebook and some pictures to share with you and I hope that you see the specialness of the ceremony. It was truly amazing.

In addition to the ceremony I also wanted to share another strange thing that cant be explained although the Hawaiian people have a theory. While in Hawaii last year our friends gave us a flower lei and two ti leaf leis for Eric and Hunter. The ti leafs are taken from the plant and made into a long rope like necklace, they are to believed to be a plant of protection. After a few months they should turn brown because they are not alive anymore. Well when I was at our friends house I saw one of their's and it was dried and brownish. I asked if that is what it is supposed to look like and they said yeas after about 3 or 4 months. Well it has been a year and it is still green, they asked around and everyone said of course it should be brown and dried it has been almost a year. So you ask what does this mean? Well from what the beliefs are 2 thoughts, 1...it is still green because Eric is here protecting us and the green plant is a sign of his presents....2...Eric is keeping it alive...a sign that he is here and possible he has a message for us or something to tell us. I am really not sure what to believe but the one thing I know is that the green ti leaf lei should be brown and dried and brittle and it is green and flexible.

Forks and Decisions

In life we often come to a fork in the road, decisions are made and our lives can change for good or bad. It seems that the last 5 months I have had many forks in the road. Decisions had to be made which definitely changed my life. Some have been hard, some have been easy and I am still waiting on the results of most of them. This week one of the decisions I made had to be finalized. It was a very difficult thing for me to do. I had to clean out my class and pack up my stuff. It felt like I had to say goodbye to another family member. I have grown to love my kids as my own, I would do anything for them. The decision to leave my class was one that did not come easy but because of the fork in the road I was made to make a decision. On the other side of this decision is Hunter and my need to be with him during this difficult time in our lives. I know that my students will miss whatever I was able to bring to the class and hopefully my replacement can fill the void and treat them as if they are family. So as another chapter in my life changes and doors open and close I hope I made the right decision for the sake of my students, my son and for me.

God bless,

Hallie

Sleeplessness.......

What makes nights so difficult? Why does your mind always have to think just when it is time to sleep. I love to sleep but I have found that it is often difficult to sleep since Eric died, I was used to him gone at work and it is not like I never slept in the bed alone so why is this such a big deal? I know that nobody has the answer and I am really not looking for an answer....I guess it is just on of those things....the things that come from being a widow. This is one of the things that I just hate.....it is so quite and I really am tired but everything that needs to get done enters my mind and then of course I start thinking about Eric and how he just made everything better. No matter what was going on he always made the difficult stuff easier to handle. I miss him so and I wish he was here now during this 3am ranting to just make everything better....to hold me and to assure me that no matter what happens it will be ok......

PS.....at least the dog can sleep...she is sleeping in my spot...go figure.