I had just laid down to go to sleep and finished a wonderful intimate prayer with God. I laid there feeling so good in my heart and I started wondering why I suddenly, after a totally long day, was feeling great. I was stunned and unsure why my heart felt good. I mean really, I have brain cancer. That thing which is known and respected as bad. I then thought that some brain cancers patients still remain around on a blessing and miracle of God, keeping them here. They must be here for a special reason, completing that special role given to them by God himself. And then it hit me, something amazing yet ridiculous. My role that thing for me was simply to change my outlook on life and all of those life events. Silly, yet unbelievable. The biggest miracle in my life has simply been to change how I see the important things. For example before this horrific thing attached itself to me I was a "B" father. Working hard to complete the important activities and yet not working to give emotions and energy to help my family grow. I am amazed that the relationship between Hunter and I has totally changed over this last seven months. To grab that boy and tightly hug him with love and emotion every single time has been the best thing that has ever happened. To hold him in my arms and let that joy transfer ever single time is fantastic. And what is so great and horrific is that this would have never happened to me without accepting the limitations of the cancer. I look at the comparison of the two lifestyles and realize that the boy raised by me in my previous endeavor without any changes would have fallen short. Hunter is now a boy that is allowed to have several few amazing years with my new gift. My potentially shortened time years are here to work with him on the most important compared to the many years of being with him before. I raised in bed to realize that over the course of this whole thing I have been given a potential curse of brain cancer and got the miracle of realizing how to become an "A" father. I know this sound ridiculous, but I am so thankful to have been give such a miracle. I recognized that this might be hard for others to have that moment, that event, or that life changing thing to help then realize the benefits of that shift. The shift from the old to the new. I can only tell you how great is has been to enjoy what that shift has given to Hunter, me and to Hallie. Again thank you God for such a wonderful miracle.
8 comments:
What a heartwarming statement. If is really amazing that after a life changing event, everything has a new perspective--and it takes someone like you to remind us all of that. I, too, have had life changing events, but then after a while, get back into the routine--then I get another of those "wake up" calls. I believe that I am given lessons by God, and when something really tragic, horrific, unexplainable happens, I wonder what was the lesson I didn't learn. What have I missed? And sometimes, the second, third, or tenth time He tries to teach me the same lesson, I finally catch on. God bless you Eric for reminding me of those lessons, so I can remember the lessons God has taught me--or those I finally learned. I believe that we rarely know what purpose we have here on earth until we are united with God. But, I think that you are seeing part of your purpose now. Keep passing those lessons on to those you love, and those who pray daily for you.
Love to you all--dare I say--GO YANKEES--and you are the only person I would say that to.
Luanne
Your attitude and faith continually impress me. You are such an inspiration not just to me but to all who read your blog. Even though life has thrown you a curve - you have chosen to turn it into such a positive. I have always loved the song by Mercy Me "Bring the Rain" and now that song has taken on a whole new meaning. If you haven't heard it, go to youtube and search Bring the Rain. Eric, you are amazing! God Bless You.
Teresa Martinez
Hey There from Podunk, Wa!
You've become an amazing man...say "hi" to Hallie from us!
Dan,LeeAnn and family
We always love reading your updates and hearing your wonderful insights. Thank you for being so willing to share your journey with us all. Take care.
Trina and Bob Pina
So, how was New York and how are all of you doing?
hey eric,
I've just come across your story and stunned doesn't even come close.
I've been reading your posts and learning about what ya'll have been going through this year.
In your photos you still look like the boy I knew at Mervyns (except for the goatee that is the same color as Don's-how did this happen?) And in your posts I can sometimes hear the boy I knew ("oh crap") We're all grown up now and the challenges you and Hallie are facing I can't even imagine. But your reminder to remember the important things tells me your trust is in Him. We know that with God all things are possible and I will not stop praying for you and Hallie.
Our God is awesome-
Tracey Hooton
You're amazing Eric..your story brings me to my knees. Thanks for reminding me what is really important in life - its not how clean my house is or what my checkbook balance says - its about those you love.....
I continue to pray for you and hope you and your family continue to do well and see positive results.
Much love,
Liz Miller
Hi Eric!
So good to hear of your thankfulness for your struggle. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Rom 8:28. You and your family are living, breathing examples of God working out good in your lives. I am so thankful that you are open to what He is doing, and allowing Him full control of the circumstances because your lives are much richer for it. Keep it up! We are praying for you!
Hugs,
Sue (in Washington)
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