A New Season.....

Seasons change, people come into our lives and people go but it is comforting to know that the people you love are always is your heart.

A I reflect on the last 10 months I think about all the change that has occurred, the people who have come and gone in my life and what it all means. Ever since Eric got sick I look for signs of why this is happening, why is someone in my life or why have they vanished. Everything has a purpose, a plan, an intended outcome. This plan is driven by our destiny which is all God's plan. I hold onto this concept which helps me get though each day. Lately I have been spending time thinking about the people in my life and what each person brings. Some may be people I don't even know but they smile just when I need it the most. Others offer comfort, support, guidance, encouragement, advice and much more. I guess my point is that life is always changing just like the seasons, people come and go and whether you are in my life for the long haul or just passing though I thank you for helping me change and grow though this difficult time. Helping me gain a better focus of life and helping me try to make sense of it all.

Love,

Hallie

Sacramento Memorial

This past weekend we had the opportunity to celebrate and honor Eric at the Fallen Firefighters Memorial in Sacramento. It was a beautiful ceremony, it felt as if it were just for Eric but there were 31 firefighters being honored. It was very emotional for all of us (I had 21 family and friends), I am not sure if it was just being there, the fact that this was the last time for such a ceremony or a little of both. It is very difficult to explain the experience all I know is that I feel privileged to have been married to someone who put his life on the line for the sake of others. I know Eric would not have changed a thing, he loved being a firefighter/ paramedic and I am glad that we were able to honor him in such a beautiful service. I wanted to thank Riverside City Fire for taking good care of us last weekend, the honor guards from all over California for their service, the Fire Foundation for all their hard work and to all the family and friends who were able to share this event with us and to be there to support Hunter and myself. We truly appreciate everything.

I have a video of a speech about Eric, it was read by his engineer Garret and written by Garret and Eric's captain Bob. It was beautiful, unfortunately I am having problems getting it on the blog. I will try again later.

Love to all,

Hallie

Who am I?

Each and every one of has a title, something that defines who we are or what we do. Most of have many title's mom, sister, teacher, wife, vegan, homemaker and so on. It is the title that defines who we are or what we do. During the last 9 months my titles have changed and who I am is being defined all over again. This seems to be the conversation I am continually having with myself. Who am I? I was a wife, mother, teacher, daughter and so on. It was pretty clear who I was and what I was doing with my life. Now I am a widow, mother, daughter, but who am I? I have come to a place in which I have decided to figure out who I am and what my role is now. Being with Eric for 25 years left us as one person, which was easy and wonderful. Now I need to define who I am as a single person a person who has to make decisions and be an independent thinker. I don't feel that I need to do this for some societal necessity but for Hunter and myself. This part of my growing while grieving is a positive step and I am looking forward to redefining who I am and what the rest of my life will look like.

Thank you to those who will be a part of my growing and redefining who I am.

Love,

Hallie