Today is What.... Wednesday!!!

Hey Everyone, Well obviously if you read the blog yesterday you know that I am having an issues. What is weird about my issues is that sometimes I have no memory, be it an event or a day I just can't remember. Interesting HUH! To have the ability to complete something than have no memory of it is both scary and sad. It is an amazing way to have an unknown day where you can do all the events but have no idea of things you will remember. If I looked at this I really hope that my little tumor growing is where this comes from because it can be remove and I can return to normal. I mean think about it to have a great morning with family and or friends and by the afternoon to have no memory of it occurring. Interesting! If you asked me how this could get worse right now I would have to tell you that I don't know. The only thing I know is the God has a reason for everything. So I don't know what the answer is, all I can do is trust in God and know that it is all meant to be. So remember that my name is Eric Botkin!

New Eric info!

Well I guess that when I update everyone knows that something is up and usually it is not the most exciting so here goes the latest on Eric. As of a little yesterday and all today Eric has been having short term memory problems. Can't remember what he ate, where he has been, where Hunter is, or anything that we talk about. I guess it is like he has little seizures or kind of blacks out even though he can function. He feels fine he just does not remember what he has done. I called the Dr. she is on vacation and returns tomorrow....the assistant and triage nurse asked alot of questions and they don't believe that it is anything that would be emergency related (stoke, big seizure, ect) so since the Dr. returns tomorrow they said we should wait to here from the Dr. in the morning unless something changes and then we will need to go to the ER! So I plan to keep his blog updated and this should help answer further questions.
Thanks for your continued prayers!
Hallie

My White Cells are What?

www.helpericbotkin.com

Hey Everyone! Well today was the first time to go and check how the new chemo was working on me. I must tell you that having another new chemo medicine is not an exciting time. I mean here you are taking another medicine to stop the cancer in your brain from continuing to grow and it can be a difficult challenge. So many new opportunities to have no idea how your body is going to handle this new stuff. And now here I am again. Waiting to see if this thing is doing the right work and still not knowing if is doing something right. Well I am happy to share with all of you that my current chemo is going correctly. Now it is hard to believe that statement since I am pretty much feeling great with this new medicine. It is also easy to remember that I was with chemos that were very difficult for me to just complete. So here is what I was told. 1. My white blood was less than is should be, but it was not yet at a dangerous number. 2. My platelets had been reduced also but was not at a dangerous level either. Now I was told that over the next week before the next test my numbers could continue to drop and that I needed to work to keep them from dropping too low (resting, drinking plenty of water, ect). Yea!! Now I am pretty happy as I really had no idea of what to expect in this new chemo medicine. I am feeling pretty good as I start on week 4 since I took the chemo pill.

Hallie started back to work with all of her standard fun and almost after a week she seems pretty calm and stress free. I will get back to you with more as the year progresses. Hunter is getting ready to start playing soccer again and enjoying his way into the 5th grade. Me, I'm just looking for another quiet day. I know they are on there way soon.

Lastly, I wanted to thank a very special person who I share a unique bond with and who has been there for me before. When someone takes your hand and helps give you strength, love and encouragement, I just wanted to say Thank You!

Back to What?

Hey Everyone! OK several things to get us started this morning. First I just wanted to thank all those who have been to www.helpericbotkin.com as it has been neat to see different people looking at the web site. Whether you are interested or not it has been great to see different people checking out our pictures. Lastly if you could continue to be able to let your friends and family know will give others a chance to see our pictures too.
Next, I am sorry it took a little wile to get back but the six week pill was something else. However I started to feel really normal yesterday and so far, I am feeling pretty normal which is simply fantastic. It is hard to believe that I am on one pill which will last for six weeks, but hopefully chemo pill number #G or #H will do me good before the MRI on 9/10. On a little side know it is so hard for me to hear after 25 MRI's in only 22 months. That machine is so loud even with beautiful yellow things to protect your hearing. I'm sure that I am on a short plan for some ear helping stuff otherwise I won't be able to hear anything.
Lastly we are getting closer to the good or evil schools getting ready to start up for another year. I think both Hallie and Hunter are somehow thinking it is evil, but we all know that time keeps marching on and some things can never be changed. Whether it be me or you, time will always move along and some have to learn that many things are the things that cannot be changed by anyone. All we can do is pull your belt tight and just keep on moving along. So all we can really worry about is today and sometimes a little about tomorrow. Anything after those two days is simply unknown times to be controlled only when they actually arrive.

Whole Bunch of Stuff

Hey Everyone! What a great time last week. As of Thursday, Hunter is now a solid 10 years old. Pretty amazing to sit back and make our first change into double digits. Hunter had a great little week. First, I just want to thank all the incredible people who made it possible and helped us make this an awesome birthday a reality for our little guy. I would really like to have done it all on my own, but we all know that is not going to happen, so thank you again. We (and our niece Morgan) got to see the Padres baseball park, watch an Angel game, spend the night at Hilton, go to California Adventure (right next to Disneyland), and finish the surprises with a great night at the ESPN Zone a place for food and amazing games. Sheesh, that was so much stuff. I know that it was very cool to see his face get surprised as he didn't know any of these awesome events were to be one after another. Well one last day with 8 boys spending the night (yikes) and I will be able to return to being normal human being. Hopefully it all goes great.

Ok, now for the other side. As you all know I have been retired since November 2008, which kind of stinks as I saw some guys last week and I hated not still being able to work and have fun with them. Anyway, I have been able to receive 70% of my retirement funds which is better than nothing but not enough to pay all my bills. I tried to solve this issue with some things, used all our savings, tried to work but that is impossible, and it wouldn't be right to stand on the street looking for money. So what now. This issue has caused me a great amount to stress and concern. So much so that I was having issues with my words, not sleeping and other health related concerns. I know that men are broken into two different styles, those that want to take care of everything and those that want the care of nothing. Well I am unfortunately part of the group that wants to care for everything, even though Hallie would like me to take care of nothing. My want to help everyone and control our family issues finally hit the impossible. What to do financially when there seems to be no way to overcome the challenge. I had reached this point that caused Hallie to start to panic about me and what was wrong with me and my health. I was unable to think of a solution. I wanted to find the answer to our issues, but was trapped not being able to decide or find an answer. Hallie pulled me aside and reminded me that if I just let the stress go God will provide me an answer. Well it came through. An idea came to me one night. Back in 2005 I purchases a ton of books that I really loved and continue to feel very strong about, The ABC's of Making Money 4 Teens. A great book for the teens to have some awesome ideas about controlling money that is not usually given or shared with those teen kids. So I created a web site called http://www.helpericbotkin.com/ and I would really love it if you would check it out. It has my story and all the info about the books. I just want people to see the opportunity. Thanks for your help.

MRI Update......

Hey Everyone! Well today was my special meetings with my Doctors at the City of Hope. Based on some issues that I had been having, my MRI got moved from the seventh of August to today. First, it is simply awesome that you are able to get an MRI and then a few minutes later the whole set of pictures are available to see at any computer, anywhere at the City of Hope. Fantastic. Anyway I got mine done today and the little white spot in my head has gotten bigger over the last 6 weeks. So after almost and hour of talking with my awesome doctor we decided to change gears again. While I am not ready to get all excited about surgery, since number 6 is a little tough to make everything still be correct, we are going to try another different plan. I am off the chemo as it was not stopping my growth and will start taking a chemo pill that I will take one every six weeks. Pretty interesting to start now on a pill that is taken once every 6 weeks as the new thing that will hopefully stop the growth in my head. Interesting. I just wanted to let you all know about my fun Friday. Don't get me wrong, I am still extremely excited to still be here on earth with my family and friends, but sometimes it is a little harder to know how long this joy will be able to continue. While I know that I will be very excited to be in the amazingness of God, I know that it will be a tremendous unhappy time for those that are left here without me.

Today's Gift

Hey Everyone! I just wanted to say what a great time we had at a baby shower with some good friends of ours. It was nice sharing time and fun with many others and as a whole family, not just a cool place for ladies. Anyway I wanted to give my beautiful wife Hallie some tremendous credit over the last couple of days. When I started on this unique life so many months ago it was very easy to only worry about tomorrow, not worrying about the future. Having a great feeling from everyday thanking God for allowing me to be here another day to share with my family, friends, and neighbors. Well as time goes through your life it is very easy to start to fall back to the old ways where you begin to worry about next week, next month, and next year. I had once again returned to be the man who was continuously trying to stop or solve the problems, forgetting that each day is again a great gift from God. I had lost the ability to thank God each day for another opportunity to spend another day with my family. Well it was great for me to have been reminded by Hallie since I had been focusing on the challenge, not the joy of another moment to be spend with the family. The reason that I have brought up the subject was not only to share with you how amazing my wife is by being able to remind me whats important in our lives, but I also had the ability to share it with with another. While being at the baby's shower, I met a woman who was starting to worry about a specific future challenge. I was very surprised that I was able to share with her the same thing that I had been reminded of just a few days ago. Awesome! God had given me the opportunity to take that thing which had just been reminded to me and allow me to share it with someone else. I hope you have not forgotten that yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift which is why it is called the present. Just in case you have here is your reminder, live today for today and enjoy each moment, nobody really knows the mystery of tomorrow.

Hmmmmm...

Hey Everyone! Well for those of you who were not sure that I was going to be able to write more often, well forget it! Anyway I am trying a little bit harder than I was previously. I just wanted to share a thought with you all. Over the last 2 1/2 days I have been really trying to work out my challenge. I have spent lots of time sitting and thinking, walking and thinking, and even just simply thinking. All of that time spent trying to get the solution to my challenge. And then I thought of my earlier days (really earlier). Having a challenge and taking an immediate response to set to my solution. Some were successful and some were...oh my... some were horrific. I was thinking that then, it was for me too learn that I should take a moment and decide which of the activities was going to bring me the best response for the challenge. Well time has gone by for us all and I am afraid that sometimes we spend too much time looking for the answer to our challenge. Too much time spent will leave you petrified, never settling for any answer and just leaving yourself to feel overlooked by the challenge that was never fixed. I just want everyone to know that it is ok to check the different solutions to your challenge, but don't ever do nothing. Take time to evaluate all your choices, but then make sure that you take an action. Just know that some will be awesome and some will suck but either way you have the ability to tell everyone that you took a chance. And as life goes for us all, some were good and others were not so good. Gotta run and go finish since I have found the answer to my previous challenge.

Whew, Back Again, Finally

Hey Everyone! Let me wish that the 4th of July was a fantastic and great family moment for you all. A day of fun, fireworks, and a small beverage or two. First, and foremost, I would like to thank my wonderful friends who took us in and allowed us to stay at their gorgeous home for several days in the great city of Kona, Hawaii. You both were awesome, fantastic, and simply great. Thank you again for such a wonderful adventure. Let me say that for being in a place that allowed up to zip along nature, snorkel in the ocean (very challenging as Hunter does not like it ever again), saw a volcano dropping lava into the ocean during the day and night, seeing a family member that I have missed for 30 years, driving to the southern point of the island and the U.S., and most important lighting fireworks legally was a great couple of days. Whew a lot of truly cool things.

Next I wanted to let you know that my chemo with one medicine happened on Friday and I am doing pretty good, compared to that previous two medicines moments which was horrific. I am feeling pretty good and able to do some things as compared to being able to do absolutely nothing. I am on track for my next chemo on the 24th and my next MRI on the 7th of August. Hopefully my head is doing well with only one medicine, but I have a little time before I can find out for sure.

My mid year resolution is to update my blog a bit more often. I want share more moments good bad and ugly. So keep your a look out and we will see.

Time Flies

Hey Everyone!! Whew, what a long time since I sat here to share with you all. For anyone that is interested, I'm sorry. Sometimes life tosses so much at you that you miss many opportunities to share with my friends. So a quick set of info for you to read about starts with the most important, I got some of my chemo medicine changed as the previous one was so horrific for me to try and continue to endure. Yea! We will see how this goes by giving me a different chemo medicine, so far it is going very well with two tries I feel much better than I did with the first doses. Summer is always crazy as your whole family is at your side, every second. It takes a little time to again remember how to live with everyday as a Sunday. A trip to my wife mothers and father fun house in Angel Fire, New Mexico has already came and went. I will say that as we drove 16 hours to get there I could have bought some great fireworks but I had to tell Hunter NO!! We are here for a few days now to get ready for all the other summer stuff. Sometimes it is difficult to transition from school year to summer. Everybody home and doing there own thing.
To all of you that have shared my little blog with others I just wanted to say thanks. I really believe that some days can be great for everyone and other just ok. I really believe that I have to talk more and share many thoughts and ideas that I have with many people, hoping to help at least one person have a great thought every time they stop to read. So as we go forward I look forward to being able to give someone a great new opportunity.