Day 2

Ok so today went pretty good....until Eric missed his lunch then things went bad and fast! 1st this morning they ordered Eric a liquid diet......well those of you know Eric know he loves his food and none of it is usually liquid. Once I squared away the food issues he was able to eat breakfast.....this was a good thing. Then it was time for lunch, I ordered lunch and just as it was coming they took him to the MRI. So no lunch then! Well when he got back he was in lots of pain and not hungry...then he got grumpy because of the lack of food. So his head hurt because of the MRI, the noise from the MRI and the lack of food....this was not good. Of course this put us all on edge because this is how things were going the last time. So we got him dinner and his mom said it was like watching the empty tank fill up. As soon as his belly was full everything fell in to place...Thank goodness! Well needless to say Eric had a rough time this afternoon but when I left him tonight he was doing 1000 times better. Hunter came by to see him and will see him in the morning this was good for both of the boys! Tomorrow Eric should get moved to a real room and begin the rest of his stay at the Super Fantastic City of Hope and Eric puts it!

God Bless,
Hallie

Day 1 Surgery # 5

Well thank goodness today is almost over what a long day!!!! Eric went into surgery at 12pm and the Dr. came out a few short....long hours later around 4:30pm. He said that he removed almost all of the tumor and did the best he could without compromising Eric. Unfortunately as we have stated before there is never a chance that all the cancer will be gone. So we pray for a speedy recovery and that the tumors will not make an appearance anytime soon. As for Eric's current condition he seems to be doing well, alert and responsive. He is still a little confused about names, dates and locations but that is to be expected. He is stable and progressing in the right direction. The Dr. said that we will probably get to stay at the hospital for the weekend....so a little vacation for us with room service. I will continue to keep everyone posted on his progress for the next several days.

Please pray for the following:

• Strength for our family
• speedy recovery
• positive results from the chemo
• that the tumors stay away
• that Eric will continue to be strong and have a positive attitude

Love and God Bless,

Hallie

Fun Times Again!!!

Well everyone more disappointing news, I need surgery again. It is pretty unbelievable to have an amazing dual surgery three months ago and then get another run now. I am fortunate that this removal is in the same place as it was before, but still it can be a little overwhelming. I was trying to really understand how all this was happening. You know how to I get roped with another removal of something growing in my head that is only three months after the last lesson. But then God made it so easily for me to see and understand my thing. My life can either be at a curb or a wall. A curb or wall you say, not understanding what the heck I'm talking about, but yes, a curb or a wall. Think about how you can get over a curb. You just take your foot and place it over the curb and your life keeps moving without anything to hold you back. But now a wall, oh sheesh. How can you get over a wall. You can try to keep jumping over, trying to slide yourself over the top, or just giving up and feeling horrible about not being able to get over the wall. But the real movement is up to you, you can have it any which way. It is all up to you. You have the ability to decide which way you are going to handle that unknown thing that is being planned in your lives. My next surgery is on Wed the 18th and I am believing that I have just another curb to pass so that I can be able to complete that thing for God.

Update! Another Challenge

Hello everyone,

I guess from the title you have already figured out that something is going on and we are about to face another challenge. Let me start with a review. Eric has been doing very well the last month or so even though he did not feel that great. I was sure that everything was fine with him and was not the least bit worried about the MRI on Friday (today). Well on Wednesday Eric had lunch with me and the girls from work and we noticed a few odd word issues but not too much to think about so we continued on with our day. I went to get my nails done after work and while there Hunter called with out Eric's knowledge to let me know that he needed help with homework and that daddy could not help because he was talking funny and not making any sense. So I left right away and got home and asked Eric what was going on and he said "what" and then started talking but was making no sense, mixing up words, saying random things etc. So I called The City of Hope and they said call 911. Eric kept saying no 911 I fine. He was not fine! So I called 911 he went to the ER and was transferred to the City of Hope around 10:30pm. He was admitted and given meds to help the swelling. On Thursday afternoon he had the MRI and the Dr. came by around 5pm to let us know that he had good news and bad news. Oh great!!! He said that Eric has another tumor and this was not good, it grew back so quick and this was a very big concern. Although the good news was that it was not touching any brain and he would be able to take it out without much issue. He said that because Eric was so young he would recommend surgery and removing the tumor. Eric did not hesitate to answer and said "yes let's do it than" . He feels that this Dr. is the best and is confident with his advice. So we meet the Dr. on Monday and find out when in the next two weeks Eric will be going in for his third tumor removal. What a big surprise to all of us.....I know I felt like someone hit me over the head with a hammer! Although I will have to say that Eric is handling this very well and continues to but his faith in God and knows that there is a reason for all of this to happen. Hunter and I are lucky to have such a strong person to help keep us grounded. Anyhow you ask what then......well after the surgery Eric will heal and start his next chemo which will be intravenous. It is called avastin and they will pair it with something called cpt-11. He should not have terrible side effects mostly just annoying stuff! He will have the chemo every other week until it stops working.

Well I guess that is it in a nut shell. I know that Eric wants to write something but I asked him if I could fill everyone in first. So look for something this weekend from Eric. Will will update about the surgery as soon as we know more.

Thanks for all your prayer,
Hallie

3 weeks of blaaaa

Hey everyone. First I want to apologize to everyone for not putting up any interesting info. I know that you are all checking to see something about me or some of things I'm thinking about, but my pills I am taking were just so much that I had just run down. You see in the old, pre-3rd or 4th surgeries I was taking my chemo pill for one week, getting back to normal for a week and then two awesome weeks of being Super Eric. After the surgeries I am taking the chemo pills for 3 weeks and then enjoying the one week of returning back to normal before I start for another exciting 3 weeks of pills. AHHHHHHH. It is really funny that you are in a position of your non- favorite pills and yet don't know whether doing or stopping is offering you any goodness. Oh well this Friday I am going to get a MRI and have a see at what is going on in my head. I hope that there is a whole lot of nothing going on so things will be really easy with the doctor. Well I guess that's it with me and all my issues. I will get back to everyone on Friday and let you know how the MRI came out. So please continue to pray for me and the family.

What A Game

Whew. What a pair of great football games were on today. For those of you who wanted the teams to win, congrats. And for those of you whose team lost, well I'm very sorry. But the great thing for me, who was not ruiting for a particular team to win, was that I got to see some great football. I got to see the teams push, the players really giving it all, players hurt, and finally after all that I got to see a team win. Imagine watching a team win this important game and have all the teammates run around like little kids who won a high school game. Incredible. You know so many people were watching, but probably don't treat their private lives like this, or do they? Watching people give so much of their efforts and then hurrying before the clock runs out is really kind of funny. Most people are those that might forget that the purpose of all of that effort is really simple. It is nothing more than that thing God wants us all to accomplish. That's it, so simple and yet we so often miss it. We work so hard to accommodate all this stuff, but miss our special purpose, or just simply miss that moment to give, do, or just help complete God's wish for us. I urge everyone to take a moment and speak with God so that you can find what makes your life out to be a winner.

Happy Friday

Well first off happy Friday to everyone. You know how wonderful Friday's are for everyone. The final weekly Friday arrives and leaves you for thousand of things to be done on Sat and Sun, leaving you ready to restart a wonderful and amazingly tiresome Monday. Oh well, just do the best you can and you will be just like everyone else. Anyway, yesterday I went to visit my great doctor and have some chatting about things. We spoke at length about how the previous testing pills that I was taking were horrific, awful, and generally not very wonderful. She laughed as she knew this from my previous meeting, but we were being appropriate. I am very happy that I am almost back to being me from the previous stuff. Shocked how it has taken almost three weeks to return to being Eric, but I am again very glad. We then talked about the many different opportunities available for me and decided that we would keep using the one I have used for the longest time. If when I return and we get the MRI results with nothing new growing in my head, then we will stay with that medicine. If when I return there is some new stuff, well then we get to have new options that might be less exciting. So I am glad the keep taking the good pills instead of some other poor options. On a side note it is always funny how some things are left unrepaired for a very long time and then in an instant everything is getting fixed. Whether this is your house, car or stuff it is really something to be sitting at home and have three people coming to instantly fix those things that have sat for oh so long. Anyway everyone have a great weekend, watch football and let all those things pressing your weekend be pushed till the next one.

Time for those resolutions!

Hey everyone! Before I talked too much today, I really wanted to take a moment and thank everyone again. It is just unbelievable to me, Eric a regular guy having so many different people help us. I want to thank those that provided dinners for us, gave us some money from the classroom, gave us a boot award for the fire department, helped us watch and be in control of Hunter, drive me to and from the City of Hope to get various things done or checked, people to take me out to lunch, and everyone who placed a wonderful message on the blog. Thank you to everyone. I know that without all of your help my family would have had a few horrible issues to overcome. Thank you again. I was trying to think of what to say today since I am finally almost ready to be a human again without that incredible facial stuff. (On a side note that stuff is horrible, horrible, and definitely horrible! )

I was thinking about how it is sometimes very hard for us to have a seat and prepare to close the 2008 and get ready to open a 2009. It is sometimes hard to take some time and see how close we came to having accomplished all those things we were going to want done as well as what is the chance of getting things done in 2009. Did you finish the year the way you had planned the year? Did you do what you wanted? Are you going to take time to evaluate your year? Are you going to look at 2009 and make a plan for what is important whether the house needs repairs, spending time with family, the all important losing weight and getting healthy or whatever is important to you. Everyone is happy to have 2009 here but with out a plan we will look back at 2009 and think what happened! Know is the time to take a few minutes to sit down write your goals and look to the year ahead, life is always throwing unexpected twist but with a plan those twist may not be to surprising. Then at the end of next year you can look back and say WOW I did just what I wanted to do and you can fill good about the year. It is always easier said than done so take a few minutes and write it down so you can make your 2009 dreams come true.

Have a Happy and safe New Year and I talk to you next year!

Maerry Christmas & Happy New Year

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone. We hope you all had a wonderful day and a great New Years day to come. We had a nice Christmas and spent the day with family, Eric was feeling better and this was all the gift we needed. Anyhow about Eric he stopped taking that study drug last Saturday becasue the side effects were sooooo bad. The rash was terrible and it was just not worth all the pain. Today all the white bumps are gone, that have scabed over and are really really itchy. He is feeling much better and looks much better, he just can't stop itching, so maybe a few more day and the itching may stop.

It was a wonderful surprise on Monday when the RFD showed up with a boot tied with a big red bow. The department did a fund raiser and filled the boot for us. it was so nice and it could not have come at a better time. They helped Christmas happen at the Botkin house. We are so thankful and there are no words that can express our thanks. So THANK YOU RDF for making our Christmas a special day for us.

We hope everyone had a great day filled with family and friends and we wish you all a wonderful New Year!

Love and God Bless,
Hallie

What A Drag!

Hey everyone. I hope everyone is doing well able to work very hard getting all the families and friends gifts. I know that sometimes this can be such a huge challenge to get all those special items found, taken home and hid somewhere and only to be opened in a cool short 6 seconds. Oh well, I hope it is all going awesome for you. Now it is my turn. I so really wanted to be in a place where I could sit here and tell you all how great the testing of this special drug called BIWB 2992, but there is a little challenge. I haven't got that yet. I keep waiting for the people to tell me about some type of greatness or hell even some type of goodness, and I haven't seen it yet. I'm sorry for just letting all of this off for everyone but it is as though somewhere there should be that place for me to feel great that I am on this drug and the fact is I am very unhappy. You see two of these things have become a huge challenge for me, the diarrhea as well as the rash on my face and head. Now honestly the diarrhea is not that big of deal. I mean it is not fun but it is pretty easy. You feel like you have to go potty so you do. Some days you go none other days you go 6 times. Now is this fun, again hell no, but is it something that will take me out of the study, not really. Then there is the evil rash on my face and head. This is truly something that has brought me some incredible challenges. It was funny that this stuff started all the way back on Saturday, but I didn't realize what was going to be coming. Saturday through Friday has reached a point which has given me unbelievable white zits all over the area between my nose and facial hair, with it now moving up into the area of my eye brows and is something that I have a hard time with. Not only is it not pretty to look at it hurts and itches really badly. I can't get my hair wet and I can barely chew any food.I even told the Doctor today that I might be done because I can't take any more of this. Well we talked for a lot and she has until Monday to try and make some of this rash go away. I told her that I would try until Monday but otherwise I was going to be out of this study. It is very funny how I think it has been so different between each of the two surgeries on my brain over the last bits of time. I know that almost anything done a particular way after the first surgery must now be a total different way after doing the third surgery. Kind of interesting that I just wanted to be the same guy as before and yet I am having so many different issues that I am not like that guy at all. It sometimes makes me wonder what God wants from me since now I have so many other little things that are needing to be taken care of.
I am sorry to unload a bit, I know everyone wants to hear all the good but the good is just not here right now. Hallie told me it would be OK to vent on the blog so I guess sometimes I will be inspirational and other times I might just be venting. Like I said things are just different after the 3rd surgery.